People are crying over the economy. After years, decades even, the definition of recession as two successive quarters with negative growth suddenly isn't good enough for Joe and Mary Lunchbox. Well boo-frieking-hoo. I'm sad you made bad choices in your life and you now can't afford to take little Johnny to his special drum circle for 2 year olds. I'm sorry you can't order every dinner from your favorite restaurant instead of cooking at home from scratch. It's too goat-fucking bad that your sorry ass can't get the latest tank-sized SUV from GM because your interest rate on you second mortgage just ballooned, or your credit cards are past due, or whatever chickens you got coming home to roost are suddenly pooping in your corn flakes.
But that got me thinking...Maybe the startlingly rapid rate of information dissemination now makes peoples' feelings a real market force. Perhaps the market, once controlled by old white guys in blue blazers with crests on the pockets, guarding the little black box we call the economy between 3 martini lunches, games of squash, and occasional bath house sodomy parties, is now in the hands of the people.
The people?!?! They are sheep! They need to be led, and in the vacuum of a clear leader, rather than one of them emerging as the new leader we have chaos brought on by too much information. They fire up their favorite browser - you know, the one that comes pre-packaged with their operating system - and they are inundated by headlines proclaiming the end. They lack the mental faculty to sort through the noise and find out what is really going on, and they probably lack the reading comprehension necessary to understand anything above an eighth-grade level. The "truth" is whatever Diane "Brain Donor" Sawyer tells them on Good Morning America, to which they faithfully tune each morning while enjoying Pop Tarts and Kool Aid, the breakfast of the Proletariat.
Look on the bright side: You will die eventually.
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